You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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