it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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