Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
