Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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