Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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