I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
