Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
