I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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