I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So squirting runs in the family.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
