redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
