I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
