it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
