Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
