He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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