we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
