i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
