I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
