I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
