Soap is not a condiment
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
