just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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