How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize