i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
