is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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