Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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