He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Text me some of your sweat
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
