it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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