you have to choose: penises or morals?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
