Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
