I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
