I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize