no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So. Much. Porn.
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