Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
