It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
