Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
