I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
