Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
