I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
