is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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