she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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