She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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