If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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