he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
