i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
ok first of all what the fuck
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
