tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
