just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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