i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
