I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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