You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
