So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
please come you make the beer taste better
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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