I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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