why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
