do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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