everyone is single if you try hard enough
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so let's talk penis.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
