BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
