Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
