we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
