oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
