it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
