She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
