WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I stole a fireplace last night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
