I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize