She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize